


a matter of two

by sapphee



Series: Overly Honest Methods: Hockey Science Edition [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Ensemble Cast, F/M, Facebook, Instagram, M/M, Momfords and Son, Multi, Nursey and his four moms again :'), Social Media, Summer, Texting, Tumblr, Twitter, email
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7306087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphee/pseuds/sapphee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>let it go, bro</b> <span class="u">@brozen</span> ∙ 27 May 2016<br/>fuck. i missed him by a minute. i literally saw the car drive past. hes gone<br/>—</p>
            </blockquote>





	a matter of two

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE 10/24/16: This has officially been copy-edited. Biggest changes: changing Bitty and Holster's lines to use proper caps and adding (barely) one line to the poem. 
> 
> This fic is the one I had wanted to write when I wrote "life in the dreamhaus," but even then it kind of wasn't because I had wanted to stick with one person trying to contact the other and pining away on various forms of social media (it got away from me. again.) 
> 
> In addition, this fic meanders a bit because I was going for a summery/wander-y feel. Also I don't use Instagram or Twitter so I hope I've formatted those right.
> 
> Some other notes so that it hopefully doesn't get too confusing:  
> \- The ones that start with "To: Derek Malik Nurse" are meant to be Facebook private messages.  
> \- @brozen is Nursey's Twitter. At some point, @whalechow and @broseidon respond to him on Twitter. Those two handles come from the story I wrote for my creative writing class, in which there's some angst between these two bros, and @whalechow spends the entire story pining on social media and trying to resolve their issues. (You can probably tell where I got the idea for this fic from.)  
> \- I gave Nursey and his moms [this villa](https://www.tripadvisor.com/VacationRentalReview-g1699518-d8822200-Die_Kaiservilla_luxuriose_Villa_mit_6_Schlafzimmern-Chania_Prefecture_Crete.html) because I'm living vicariously this summer.  
> \- Nursey's and Dex's phone numbers are hotline rejection numbers for New York and Maine. Make of that what you will.  
> \- Hopefully the formatting for email chains does not get messed up on smaller screens? It's meant to mimic that diagonal thingy that happens to a long chain of emails???  
> \- I wrote a poem for Nursey here, VERY loosely inspired by the beginning of Richard Siken's "You Are Jeff," and it's terrible because I am definitely not a poetry person. However, I am somewhat pleased that I write better middle school poems now than middle school me! (sorry it's terrible)  
> \- I didn't know whether Johnson was more likely to use caps or lowercase (there's an early blog post somewhere where Johnson uses lowercase, but a Halloween 2015 extra shows him using caps), so I just kept it as lowercase because it's less editing for me! 
> 
> Thanks to Ngozi for Check Please! <3
> 
> P.S. Each stanza for Nursey's poem was written about each of their dates. Talk about no chill

**let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 20 May 2016

dibs: acquired! #MajestiKegster2016 bit.ly/mf894 [a blurry snapshot of Nursey, Dex, Ransom, and Holster all shaking hands, with their hands in an elaborate crisscrossing formation that has Ransom and Holster™ written all over it]

 

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 20 May 2016

HOT HOT how can my body not handle the hot im not a white boy #MajestiKegster2016 #sriracha #neveragain

 

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 20 May 2016

u ever look at a bro one day and wonder what it means? when u can’t stop? need me a new #brocabulary #vaguetweet #17Dec2015

**let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 20 May 2016

sorry i’m drunk and whiny. do better #NurseyPatrol! you know what they say about #sixdrinks #SixDrinkNurse #MajestiKegster2016

 

—

**People You May Know**

**Derek Malik Nurse  
** Studies English at Samwell University                                                           
Christopher Chow and 26 mutual friends

| 

**\+ Friend Request Sent**  
  
---|---  
  
—

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 27 May 2016

fuck. i missed him by a minute. i literally saw the car drive past. hes gone

—

To: **Derek Malik Nurse**

It’s amazing how far we’ve come in a year, huh? From hating each other’s guts to a friend request on Facebook. Though given how we left each other, you probably still hate me.

We both said some unforgivable things that night (maybe that evening, too, but definitely that night), but what I said was definitely worse. And I’m sorry.

I shouldn’t have accused you—I don’t believe you would do that to anybody, even to me. I misinterpreted, and that was my mistake and my mistake alone. I thought I’d learned everything there was to know about myself already, so…this took me by surprise, but I shouldn’t have said what I did. Sorry you’ve taken the brunt of it.

Enjoy your time in Crete, and congrats to your mom. I hope that we can still be friends.

Dex

—

**William J. Poindexter**

Lost my phone while leaving Samwell, but at least I’m home now! Won’t have a phone until September, earliest, so contact me here or by email.

Like ∙ Comment ∙ 22 minutes ago

4 people like this.

> **Christopher Chow** will you be fine without a phone for so long? i'm really sorry : <
> 
> **William J. Poindexter** For everyone else seeing this, Chowder (Chris) had nothing to do with it, so don't blame him. And yeah. I'll be fishing all day anyway, so it's not like I'd be using it all that much. The person responsible for this is letting me use his employee discount for a phone plan in September, which gives me time to read reviews on the newest phones on the market right now.  
>    
>  **William J. Poindexter** You can keep me updated on the group chat, right, Chowder?  
>    
>  **Eric Richard Bittle** No need. I’ll just tell the team to start emailing instead. Heck, I’ll even send out the first email myself! It wouldn’t be fair to keep you and Nursey out of the loop :(  
>    
>  **Jessica Melissa Poindexter** was it that boy you keep talking about  
>    
>  **William J. Poindexter** Bitty, only if it isn’t too much of a hassle! Jess, no and shut up.  
>    
>  **Jessica Melissa Poindexter** so it WAS him. and why sept?  
>    
>  **William J. Poindexter** It really wasn’t. And that’s when all the back-to-school sales are.  
>    
>  **John Johnson** actually no it wasn’t him. dex was telling the truth this time lol, though it IS related to that boy. and yeah i told you sales, but it’s actually because the author needed a way to keep you and you-know-who apart for the summer, for maximum angst and effectiveness of this alternative story format, and couldn’t think of a good way. so i had to take care of it, like i do all plot holes lol. *fist bumps the air* for the narrative!  
>    
>  **William J. Poindexter** My posts are private and you’re not one of my Facebook friends. I once tried to add you on Facebook, but couldn’t find you, and believe me, I definitely tried! How are you commenting on my status?

—

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 29 May 2016

seeing them go is never easy. grats #SeniorJury #ClassOf2016

—

from: **Eric R. Bittle** <piepiepie@gmail.com>  
to: **Haus Family** <inthehaus@googlegroups.com>  
date: **Wed, Jun 1, 2016, at 9:21 am  
** subject: S **tay in touch here!**

Hi everyone,

Since not everyone uses Facebook/Snapchat/Twitter/etc., and not everyone is going to have signal or phone access this summer (in particular, Nursey and Dex), let’s keep in touch like this! Just to be clear, do I have everyone’s current email right? If not, either tell me the person’s email or tell that person to contact me. (I’ve already sent out a text to the group chat telling everybody that they’re getting an email, so that shouldn’t be a problem.)

This is also to help poor Jack keep track of everybody’s emails, since he’s technologically a grandpa from the 1800s [chick emoji]. He’s probably going to ask what that means. Explain it to him (or not) for your own amusement! (^ц^ )

Age before beauty! (At least everyone’s using Gmail. Thank goodness!) 

> (Jack) jlzimmermann15
> 
> (Holster) gameofbrones
> 
> (Shitty) pornstache69
> 
> (Ransom) salmonshortsftw
> 
> (Lardo) vincentvanbrogh
> 
> (me) piepiepie
> 
> (Nursey) one.in.a.chillion
> 
> (Chowder) none.puck.with.left.shark
> 
> (Dex) dexualhealing

BTW, anyone know Johnson’s email? Or number or anything, for that matter? I feel like he’s given it to me before, but somehow I can never find him on my contacts list?  
  
ERB [halo emoji]

—

 **momfordsandson** ∙ 2d

Wilder Moms

[image of Nursey and his four moms sitting on a bench at a beach, while the ocean behind them seems to stretch on forever, à la Mumford and Sons’ _[Babel](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/Babelcoverart.jpg)_  and _[Wilder Mind](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91WUWURTijL._SL1500_.jpg)_  (kind of)]

♥ 106 likes

> **momfordsandson** this is for shitty because i told my moms about starting a mom band and they loved the idea. i’ll do more as they think of them
> 
> **420pornstache69** i love all of you. so so so so so much.
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  Ahhhhhhhhhhh this is so cute!!!
> 
> **jlzimmermann15** Beautiful.
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** wow!!!!!!!
> 
> **larissaduan** you have a budding career in creating hipster album artwork. let’s talk
> 
> **ranster** please caption this wilder moms
> 
> **holsom**  Please

—

9:26PM

 **Jessica**  
i know you’re hiding something

 **William  
** You’re supposed to be enjoying Dublin with the rest of the family, not talking to me. Isn’t it 2AM over there?

 **Jessica**  
2:27 am, actually. i’m talking to you because my big bro used his savings to send 5 of us to ireland (aka everyone BUT HIMSELF) and i gotta stay in big bro’s good graces to get more of that green

**William**

  
“Green”? What are we, stuck in the 90s? And uh, anytime, you know that

 **Jessica**  
are you sure it’s the 90s? pretty sure the rents would say otherwise

 **William**  
Let’s just conclude that we don’t know what we’re talking about. What did you want.

 **Jessica**  
are you okay? what really happened to your phone? why did you really make us go on this trip? are you going to steal the silver while we’re gone and run away?

 **William  
** Did the parents put you up to this?

 **Jessica**  
you think they have patience for the french?

 **William  
** Fair point. And no, of course not! I just wanted to do something nice for you guys.

 **Jessica**  
billy i used to put pepper in your water when you weren’t looking

 **William  
** You got over it.

 **Jessica**  
that was two years ago! and i only stopped because you went to college!  
billy, it’s me. what’s going on?

 **William**  
It’s honestly nothing. Just a fight with a friend.

 **Jessica**  
must be pretty serious if you paid us to go away so you could sulk in silence

 **William**  
I didn’t pay you to go away!  
How did you know I was upset

 **Jessica**  
i didn’t know for sure until now, but before you drove us to the airport, you kept grabbing for a phone that wasn’t there every few minutes  
you never use it if you can help it. you’ve always liked fixing stuff more than using it

 **William**  
Ugh, fine.  
I fight with this friend all the time, but this one was just worse than all the other ones, and we left on a bad note.  
I sent him a Facebook message, but he didn’t reply, and neither of us will have phone access for the summer (he’s in Crete, and our ex-goalie did something to mine, so it’s gone now—that’s the absolute truth). I’m considering sending him an email, but he probably doesn’t want to hear from me.

 **Jessica**  
you don’t know if you don’t try! you know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  
hello?

 **William**  
Sorry. When you said that, I just felt a really weird shiver down my spine.

 **Jessica**  
maybe it’s a ghost!

 **William**  
Some would say very adamantly that ghosts don’t exist. And thanks, I’ll do it eventually. Go to bed.  
Since you helped me out a bit, here’s my thanks. The friend is that guy I’m always talking about  
Good night

 **Jessica**  
wAIT REALLY?  
BUT BILLY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO SLEEP /NOW/?

—

from: **Derek Nurse** <one.in.a.chillion@gmail.com>  
to: **Haus Family** <inthehaus@googlegroups.com>  
date: **Mon, Jun 6, 2016, at 8:16 am  
** subject: **stay in touch here!**

still in crete (until august or so), but looks like i’ll have better internet access than i previously thought. early apologies, though, if i respond late. i want to unplug to get some more time in with my moms before they start work again and to also write. if you need me to reply immediately, contact me in the mornings (before 10) and night (after 9).

i know that’s not ideal bc crete is 7 hours ahead (for the east coast; 10 hours ahead for the west coast), but if it’s urgent or those times don’t work for you, just let me know what will. shitty, no. talking to my moms is not urgent. neither is flirting with them, ransom and holster  
  
those times are when i’ll for sure be online. in the meantime, make sure to check my instagram (momfordsandson) for more pics! hipster/indie album artwork ft. my moms is going to be a thing now, apparently

dmn

—

you-are-dex: 

> i noticed an influx of followers lately, and the only reason for that (that i can think of) is that i recently posted a recording of the surprise party my team threw for my mom (who just came out at work) and another of the shopping spree my other moms and i surprised her with (after the party). (i blurred their faces and team logos to protect their privacy)  
>    
>  in case you didn’t already know, i am that guy with the four moms.
> 
> **Anonymous** asked: sorry if this is a bit rude, but could you maybe explain that a little bit?
> 
> nah it’s chill, i get that a lot. mom and mama are my birth parents. they got divorced when i was 4 and stayed somewhat friendly after (they didn’t become friends until some family drama happened and we all went through therapy, and now all five of us are on a summer trip together). mama then started dating maman, and they got married in MA because they couldn’t wait for NY to catch up, lol. mom married mum when i was 7, and all of us live in nyc, so visiting is easy. mom came out to me when i was 16 (chillest thing ever. i came out to her as pan in the same conversation) and did surgery a few months ago. once the doctor said she’d fully recovered, she came out at work, so here we are. me and my four moms. holidays (esp mothers’ day) get a bit hectic, as you can probably imagine, but it’s so worth it for april fool’s
> 
> before anyone asks, i don’t have a favorite but mama is the first one i call if i’m in trouble because she’s the only one who will help me fix my problem before grounding me
> 
> **lobstarks** asked: what do your moms do?
> 
> hope you don’t mind but i’m just going to combine my answers for their ethnicities and their professions here because i’m lazy and people often ask these in the same ask and i don’t want to answer those a million times.
> 
> have you heard of my favorite short-lived series ever, my lady and savior [women’s murder club](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_Murder_Club_\(TV_series\))? it’s sort of like that. mom is white and navajo. she does lawyer-y things. originally she was doing corporate stuff but hated it, so now she does nonprofit work. her partner, mum, is british bangladeshi and a journalist. mama is afro-puerto rican. she does accounting, but like in a forensics way, which makes her sort of a detective, so it totally counts. finally, mama’s partner (maman) is french and haitian and she is a pediatric surgeon.
> 
> you could probably guess that my racial/ethnic/cultural identity is a bit complicated.
> 
> **duolingoist** asked: what languages do you speak?
> 
> english, french, and spanish fluently. unfortunately i don’t know any navajo other than what mom remembers from when she was young. i want to learn bangla, but it’s quite different from the languages i know and mum is always teasing me about my pronunciation. oh and i understand more than i can speak haitian creole.
> 
> **anonymous** asked: what are your moms like?
> 
> you know [those posts](http://best-of-tumblr.tumblr.com/post/88121822551/1021girl-snickerdoodlesandsausages) where it’s like “gryffindors will do x, ravenclaws y" etc etc?
> 
> mom’s the hufflepuff, mum’s the slytherin, mama’s the ravenclaw, and maman’s the gryffindor
> 
> **Anonymous** asked: how do surnames work for you?
> 
> legally, my moms have hyphenated names (for my birth parents, they mutually agreed to keep their maiden names and attach it to their now-partner’s surname). my birth parents’ partners shorten their surnames to their maiden names, and my birth parents shorten their surnames to their partners’ names. i opted to keep all four surnames, in the form of two double-barreled surnames, but shorten them the way my birth moms do it, so in everyday life i actually carry my birth moms’ partners’ names. complicated? yeah.
> 
> **mumsthewordoftheday** asked:  what’s #fourmomnurse?
> 
> my moms have a system where each mom attends at least one of my hockey games each year. they take note of how many times i check someone or get checked and the next few days are filled with text messages from each of my moms asking, “is [body part] okay?” or giving me suggestions to help reduce the pain. often they’re the same tips offered over and over, because they all googled the same thing. sometimes that means i get twelve bottles of advil in the mail. that’s #fourmomnurse.
> 
> **and now a little about me:**
> 
> i mostly post stuff about my moms, my poetry, and The Boy. sometimes i talk about hockey. recently, i’ve been complaining about the weird things my captains have been making me do for that hockey experiment, but that experiment is finally over and i probably won’t talk about it anymore.
> 
> **Anonymous** asked: are you dex?
> 
> no that’s a reference to [You Are Jeff by Richard Siken](http://youngerpoets.yupnet.org/2008/04/17/you-are-jeff-crush-by-richard-siken/). you can call me d, though.
> 
> **Anonymous** asked: is The Boy dex?
> 
> i plead the fifth.

#long post #about me #me and my moms #my moms #my four moms #mamas’ boy and proud of it #yes the one with mustache in the video IS like that all the time #i plead the fifth on the redhead #and yes. the short blond DOES make pies appear out of thin air #it’s his superpower #yep these white boys are some of my best friends

—

 **leftsanfransharks** ∙ 5d

happy shark week!!!!!!! this is my baby cousin lulu! and that's cait's baby brother caleb!

[image of Chowder in a hoodie pulled over his head, with the hood designed to resemble a shark’s open jaw, pushing a stroller whose cover is also a shark’s open jaw; baby shark plushies swing from the portable mobile; next to him is Cait, in the same hoodie, and in her arms is a small child in yet another shark hoodie and a periwinkle skirt, whose face is buried in Cait’s shoulder]

♥ 67 likes

> **holsom**  Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> **caitfarm**  caleb wanted to be in the picture but was feeling a bit shy :^) (it was the first time he wore a dress outside)
> 
> **larissaduan** knight didn’t want his handle or his name to tarnish this wholesome image so he wanted me to tell you (and i agree) that this is adorable!!!
> 
> **momfordsandson** tell caleb dress day is the best day  <3
> 
> **ranster** look at those little hands and those little booties
> 
> **holsom** GASP ARE THOSE BOOTIES SHARKS TOO???????? ARE BOTH THESE BABIES WEARING SHARK BOOTIES
> 
> **ranster** we need a baby stat
> 
> **holsom**  Let’s borrow your sister’s the next time we go to Toronto/Buffalo/Niagara Falls.
> 
> **ranster** you grab, i’ll distract
> 
> **momfordsandson** CHILL. C this is adorable. the mobile’s frame thingy looks familiar. is this what you and dex were working on before spring break?
> 
> **bringingdexyback** Wow, good eye! Yes it is, though I didn’t know what it was for until now. C, this is really cute!
> 
> **momfordsandson** you guys did a good job a+
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** yeah i wanted to finish it in time for lulu’s first birthday! thanks!!!!!!!!!! isn’t she a darling : >
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** please don’t kidnap any babies

—

you-are-dex:

> _1._
> 
>   
>  there are two cups of coffee on this table but one is empty and the other is slowly savored, cradled in hands, soft and constellated. you did not have to choose yet, but you did, even though it was not to your advantage. you chose anyway—the empty cup, emptied of what could have been, whispered kisses and cradled hands: everything that is not you and him. but you chose anyway. you chose the empty cup, but it is not empty, is it. peer in and you shall see the exhalations that spill out onto his shirt. give them back to me, you say. they are whispers that deserve no light of day.
> 
> _2._
> 
> there are two ways to walk through this maze. take his arm, let his shoulders knock into yours. his shoulders will be warm, but nothing compared to his ambitious blazes. race him instead. race him past the glass to see what awaits you next. race him through the snapshots of time, wet and sandy as they are, where he is abrasive and rugged and you are crisp and sharp and edged. race him to sift through and find nothing. nothing but you. give him your waves. let them wash over him, break you into smatterings of dust. but impress his stardust upon your own skin and he will win this race.
> 
> _3._
> 
> there are two bullets in this chamber. one has already been fired, as if it were a press of his mouth onto yours. can you see him? explosions of color abound, as if this were but an image beneath your eyelids, tinged with sleep and fatigue and want. so, so much want. the capsule expands right before impact, reverberates all over, until you fall to your knees. no more. a shadow looms over yours, every overlapping contour feels like a victory. fire the other one. explode on impact. gone are the shadows. that is the real victory.
> 
> _4.  
>  _
> 
> there are two prizes behind the glass counter. it matters not what you choose, in this case, so it is neither in your advantage or disadvantage to pick up the one that leads to the inevitable. the way he presses his body into yours to shove you, how you hit the asphalt. the cracks in the asphalt split open your mouth into a smile upon impact. break.
> 
> _5.  
>  _
> 
> there are two places you can sit on this boat. dare to sit in the front and lay your head on his bony shoulder. let his fingers clasp with yours. a pilgrim’s kiss for a pilgrimage, hoped to be smooth and easy and quick. dare to look at him and let him see your adoration and pluck a feather from his hair. dare to lean into his warmth, boiling frog. but you do not dare, do you. it is not in your advantage to dare so you allow yourself to grip his wrist and pull him to the back, where you push and push and push and fall into the water. at least you pulled him in too, though he gasps for air and life and you gasp for him.
> 
> _6.  
>  _
> 
> there are two ways you can play. teach me, you can ask. let his body envelope yours and breathe in his air, woodsy and rustic. let his heat seep into you and burn you alive. let his stubble scratch at your skin until it feels like burning too. or teach him, you can suggest. cradle him in your shaky embrace and exhale your flashing lights, rattling subways, the city of you. do not be surprised when he flinches and disappears into a tunnel. or play the third way: you learn not from him and he learns not from you and you both play alone.
> 
> _7.  
>  _
> 
> there are two ways to fly. one is easy, learned in school. surrounded by classmates and well-meaning teachers and counselors, a matter of physics. fly easy, land easy. or do it the other way, which is a matter of magic. flying is a matter of chance, but up is only a direction. float downward, spiral and spin faster as you hurtle toward whatever it is. release the parachute and discover gravity.
> 
> _8.  
>  _
> 
> there are two reasons he holds you: fear or want. pretend it is want that licks up his ankles and past his knees and charges at his heart. pretend the want is his, not yours. pretend he tucks his chin over your shoulder because he wants. not because you see the thorns and you know they will ensnare you and pierce your skin and he sees your fear. pretending is not in your advantage. do it anyway.
> 
> _9.  
>  _
> 
> there are two ways to spin this tale. spin it as words spun like cotton candy, soft and mossy and sweet. iridescent. as if you had pressed your palm to the dark earth and pulled it from below. vines that blossom around you as they amble toward the ocean, all salt and silt. not yanked from inside you like thick, coarse ropes that lead to him. graveled roads and broken glass, a trail of crunched leaves and split knuckles. all lead to him.
> 
> _10.  
>  _
> 
> there are two hands that are not yours and are both his. his touch is the art of glassblowing; the very heat of his palm is enough to shape yours into anything he wants. anything. the pads of his fingers, his calluses, they trace the wisteria-roads of your blood. trap his hand in yours, no one will see. that is your advantage. dare you press his other hand to your cheek? dare you? dare you. you dare.
> 
> _11._
> 
> there are two ways to handle someone who yells nails and needles at the sight of your hand and his. fight. bring him closer to you and protect him. hide his face from the world, stroke his hair. be soft for him and angry at everyone else. but you need to be protected too and you are a brown black boy. fights are dangerous; you will not win. break apart and leave. no fights means no victories at anyone’s expense. so how did you lose?
> 
> _12._
> 
> there are two flutes of champagne on this table but one is empty and the other full and daintily sipped, bubbly with fluttery breaths and anticipatory promises. this time your smile is not asphalt-split; your lips are pulled open by the pads of his fingers on your wrist, gentle and easy. take the half-full flute and press it against his lips. tip it too much into his mouth and let the rivulets trace the veins down to his clavicle so you can drink in his laughter. let him take the empty flute and refill it so that the clink of your flutes travels into your heart and his. it is in your advantage.

> _\--a matter of two_ , by dn

#i didn’t finish this in time for open mic but performed it anyway #The Boy liked what i had so far (up to 8) #i ended up finishing this when my art major friend asked me if she could do something with one of my poems #since she was a senior and wanted to collab at least once before she graduated #i didn’t want to finish it because Stuff happened so now 12 is no longer true but. #i wouldn’t trade the time we had for anything #and her art for it turned out to be stunning #so it kind of worked out i guess? #no chill tag

—

9:06PM

 **Jessica  
** go with it, ok

 **William  
** It’s 2AM again, JFC.

 **Jessica**  
how’m i s’posed t’catch you oth’rwise

 **William**  
Please don’t. It’s hard enough to understand you as it is.

 **Jessica**  
so you’ve been lobster fishing all your life

 **William**  
We both know I only started doing that in high school, but okay.

 **Jessica**  
but you’re from a family that only ever goes fishing for lobster. you're expected to catch lobster. you’re not supposed to catch shrimp or crab

 **William**  
We don’t even have the right equipment for that, Jess. You know that. What are you getting at

 **Jessica**  
or swordfish or trout or salmon or anything else. just lobster  
also, your equipment is important, yes, but it’s not everything and not for determining what you can get

 **William**  
Yes it does! You can’t catch shrimp using a lobster pot

 **Jessica**  
MY POINT IS. you come from a family that’s always caught lobster. always.  
but now you want to catch sharks

 **William**  
Oh god

 **Jessica**  
you’re drawn to the things that make sharks sharks and not lobsters  
but not really because sharks aren’t a great metaphor for people and people aren’t as well-defined  
anyway, now you’ve found yourself a shark and maybe that shark doesn’t know you like sharks  
and you don’t know how you feel about liking sharks

 **William**  
Jess, please.  
Stop.

 **Jessica**  
was i right? you don’t have to be afraid  
i’ll love you whether you want to go fishing for lobsters or sharks or anyone else  
or no one at all! that’s fine too  
and while i’m not complaining, i’m pretty sure you don’t need to apologize for not exclusively liking lobsters by shipping us overseas

 **William**  
You’re right, kind of.  
I didn’t realize what I was feeling because I kept thinking I should be looking for lobster, and I think that’s why we kept fighting. I didn’t know I wanted to…catch sharks until last year.  
This is a really bad metaphor.  
And I didn’t pay for a trip to Ireland for that reason…although I didn’t not do that either

 **Jessica**  
i needed to say it in a language you’d understand  
and i don’t know hockey  
but i love you and if the rents aren’t okay with it i’ll talk to them

 **William  
** How did you know?

 **Jessica**  
i didn’t. i was…projecting?  
i’m not for just catching lobsters either…i like catching everything  
i can see why you said this was a terrible metaphor.  
anyway, will you tell me now?

 **William**  
Okay, but before I do, thank you for trusting me with this moment.  
My team’s captains wanted to do this ridiculous experiment in which my defense partner and I went on outings (there was a weird acronym that spelled out “dates”) to see if becoming friends would help us play better. Everything was going to be paid for, so why not?  
Things were rocky at first, but they got better. Toward the end, I was…really happy.

 **Jessica**  
and then?

 **William**  
I remembered we were both out to secure our spots in the hockey frat house next year. None of it was real and I fell for it

 **Jessica**  
i mean, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. he could have wanted to live there next year AND liked you too or started out with the first thing and came out with the second thing. it probably means something that he stuck with you the whole time, you know?

 **William**  
Maybe. It’s too late now anyway.  
Thanks. Go to bed, Jess  
Love you

 **Jessica**  
billy???  
ugh fine ignore me but this isn’t over

—

from: **B.S. Knight** <pornstach69@gmail.com>  
to: **Haus Family** <inthehaus@googlegroups.com>  
date: **Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 2:32 pm  
** subject: **for those who called it**

FUCK yes i love pie

thanks everyone!!!! we took my douchey dad’s card to buy a [used hydraulic press and smash all the pink gummy bears](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os9qYgJ6Nw8) in the name of lardo’s art

p.s. hey dex, what’s your week look like? specifically 7/1-7/6. will you be celebrating independence day alone?

> **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016 at 2:28 PM, Eric wrote:**
> 
> Expect pies within the next two days, both of you! Congrats <3
> 
>             **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 2:25 PM, Jack wrote:**
> 
>             Finally.
> 
>                         **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 1:18 PM, Derek wrote:**
> 
>                        grats you guys!
> 
>                                   **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 12:47 PM, Christopher wrote:**
> 
>                                  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRATS!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
>                                             **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 7:53 AM, Will wrote:**        
> 
>                                             Congratulations!
> 
>                                                       **On Wed, Jun 29, 2016, at 3:43 AM, Larissa wrote:**                                                        
> 
>                                                       he said yes. (first date tomorrow!)

—

 **The Better Bitty Barbeque Banquet**  
Private ∙ Hosted by **Eric Richard Bittle**

Friday, July 1, at 4 PM to Wednesday, July 6 at 2 PM

Dex’s House

> **Details**
> 
> Hey y’all! This year, I’m going to show y’all what real barbeque tastes like. Thanks so much to Dex for graciously hosting us for the Independence Day weekend(-ish)! Let me know if your plans change, but what I have so far is that Ransom and Holster are planning to take a bus to Boston from NYC, where Shitty and Lardo will pick them up. Then the four of you are driving up to Dex’s together, right? Jack and I will be coming from Providence. Aim to get there before 3, because I’m going to need some hands on the grill and some people to run to the store for anything else we might need! Also post below what you’re planning to bring (if you are; if you aren’t, that’s fine too! No pressure!). We do NOT need a repeat of last year's BBQ. The whole Haus ate coleslaw for a week!

—

 **bringingdexyback** ∙ 3d

Happy Canindependence Day?

[image of Ransom and Jack’s backs against Holster, Bitty, Shitty, and Lardo’s backs; Ransom and Jack are wearing maple leaf crop tops, maple leaf shades, and maple leaf short shorts, with maple(?) leaves in their hair; the other four are wearing bald eagle crop tops, American flag bikini bottoms, and American flag bandanas; Lardo is on Holster’s shoulders and seems to be losing her balance because Shitty keeps trying to kiss her; Dex is at the side and obviously the photographer, awkwardly clad in a white bro tank, blue shorts, and red shades]

♥ 45 likes

> **bringingdexyback** As soon as Ransom and Holster got here, Ransom asked Holster, "Do you even lift?" which prompted their weightlifting competition. They also insisted on saying, "[I lift things up and put them down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7gzmoqmL7g)," over and over again, louder and louder each time. Aaaaand that's the story of how I got out of doing my chores for the day.
> 
> **bringingdexyback**  These were our captains, people.
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** i wish i was there!
> 
> **momfordsandson** damn me too. you look good
> 
> **momfordsandson** all of you
> 
> **bringingdexyback**  Within 3 hours of arriving, Bitty managed to whip up 15 pies, 3 bowls of coleslaw, and at least 22 hamburgers.
> 
> **larissaduan** don’t forget the kebobs. shits, rans, and holtzy are having a kebob-eating contest right now
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  I would’ve made more if Shitty, Ransom, and Holster didn’t take over the grill to see how big a patty they could lift with a spatula. And don’t worry, we will definitely do this again when everyone is back on the East Coast!
> 
> **jlzimmermann15** This is private, right? My team nutritionist would kill me if she saw this. I still have so many squats to do to make up for this.
> 
> **bringingdexyback**  Yep. And uh, are you sure? Because your ass is still shockingly large.
> 
> **momfordsandson** i miss you

—

To: **Derek Malik Nurse**

I miss you too. My sister figured out what was upsetting me, and I think she’s right. You were right, too. I think I accused you of playing it up to ensure that you’d get dibs because that was easier than being brave and confronting how I feel about you. What happened at the petting zoo scared me, and I know it’s because I’m white and that makes me lucky in some ways, but I’d never felt so afraid before. Did I imagine it or were you also shaking? Were you scared too?

**This message failed to send. Click to send again.**

—

you-are-dex:

> **boyslikeboyslikeme** asked: came for the moms and stayed for The Boy. will you tell us about The Boy?
> 
> where do i even start? my height and age. that’s pretty much where the similarities end. white boy, redhead, awkward, uptight, unchill. listens to angry emo teenage white boy music. did that hockey experiment with me. sits next to me on the bus for roadies. argues with me about everything because he doesn’t know how to relax. has freckles everywhere probably. yelled at me and got us kicked out of everywhere we went for the hockey experiment because i kept buying him stuffed lobsters (inside joke). up until he didn’t and instead took it from me and gave me a hug and held my hand before kissing me. started to let me hold his hand more often and kiss him and trace lines all over his skin.
> 
> and then shit happened as it always does. we got kicked out of a place during the hockey experiment, but it was different; it wasn’t because we were arguing, and it wasn’t because we were me and him. it was because we were us. that shook him badly, i could tell. me, i’ve dealt with worse growing up as the only out queer student of color at my private school, as half of the only openly gay couple at the school. then our captains added to the fire and reminded us about our deal: do the experiment and you’re guaranteed a spot at the hockey frat house next year (dibs). he thought i’d been pretending, that i wanted that spot badly enough to string him along for so long. i was so embarrassed, then, about all that i’d revealed to him, all of which he thought was fake, that i took the easy way out. picked a fight and left. i can’t face him anymore. and now we’re not even friends anymore, though i don’t think we were ever friends to begin with.

#The Boy #no chill tag #homophobia cw #racism cw #that hockey experiment #only early country taylor swift can help me now #[strums teardrops on my guitar]

—

From: **Derek Nurse** (+13476891270)  
To: **Will Poindexter** (+12073760768)  
Fri, 05/27/16

i wasn’t using you will i swear i wasn’t leading you on or playing a joke on you please will i’m sorry i’ll find somewhere else to live just talk to me please

 **Delete Message  
** Cancel

—

 **momfordsandson** ∙ 2d

High School Momsical

[image of Nursey and his four moms in mid-jump, in the ocean, à la _[High School Musical 2](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/19/High_School_Musical_2_poster.jpg)_ ; Nursey’s mom and mama’s hair are in pigtails, and they are all wearing headbands and Lizzie McGuire-era outfits, somehow]

♥ 289 likes

> **momfordsandson** are you happy now
> 
> **420pornstache69** so so so so so happy.
> 
> **momfordsandson** i know you think it’s funny but you don’t have to repeat words five times
> 
> **420pornstache69** but there’s one for each of you!
> 
> **bringingdexyback** What team? Wildmoms!
> 
> **momfordsandson** NO
> 
> **jlzimmermann15** I don’t get the caption or Dex’s comment, but I love the composition.
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  Oh Jack.
> 
> **bringingdexyback** Oh Jack.
> 
> **ranster** oh jack
> 
> **holsom**  Oh Jack.
> 
> **momfordsandson** oh jack
> 
> **larissaduan** oh jack
> 
> **420pornstache69** oh jack
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** oh jack (sorry!!)

—

8:46PM

 **Jessica**  
hey  
earlier than the other times!

 **William**  
We’ve got to stop meeting like this.

 **Jessica**  
well? any progress?

 **William**  
He’s been responding to some of my comments on Instagram?

 **Jessica**  
that’s good right?

 **William**  
He typed in all caps

 **Jessica**  
so………………………………………………………?

 **William**  
He never types in all caps. He’s too “chill” for that

 **Jessica**  
seems like he’s trying

—

 **momfordsandson** ∙ 1d

Bad Moms 2

[image of Nursey’s four moms surrounded by empty bottles everywhere, hands in the air like they just don’t care, facing the camera, while Nursey faces his moms with his own arms in the air, his back to the camera, clad in a salmon polo shirt, à la _[Bad Moms](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/70/Bad_Moms_poster.jpg)_ ]

♥ 184 likes

> **larissaduan** you are scarily good at this.
> 
> **holsom**  Betrayer, delete this!
> 
> **ranster** where did you get that shirt? i want one too, it’ll match my shorts
> 
> **holsom**  NO STOP DON’T TELL HIM.
> 
> **momfordsandson** jcp! though i have one from nordstrom too. actually i think you might fit my nordstrom one better, your shoulders are broader
> 
> **holsom** NO YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE A WHITE SUBURBAN DOUCHE DAD RANS
> 
> **ranster** your shoulders could also be as broad as mine if you weren’t so chill about conditioning bro
> 
> **momfordsandson** hey i’ve been working out! do you want the shirt or not
> 
> **holsom** NO
> 
> **ranster** YES
> 
> **bringingdexyback** Is that a new tattoo?
> 
> **momfordsandson** yeah it hurts a bit but it’s chill. not my first tat
> 
> **ranster** nice you spotted it first that's how you know it's Real
> 
> **holsom**  You’re a real d-man now.

—

9:35PM

 **William**  
Don’t call me a creep, but.

 **Jessica**  
creep

 **William**  
Jess…

 **Jessica  
** i’ve been told it’s past my bedtime

 **William**  
You’re eighteen. The night is yours

 **Jessica**  
what did you want

 **William**  
What does it mean when the person you had a fight with gets a tattoo and it looks like a lobster

—

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 21 Jul 2016

sitch: bro notices your new tat + it’s barely visible bc it’s on your bicep + covered by a sleeve. also this bro hates you #NoBromo or what 

> **krill.i.am** @whalechow ∙ 21 Jul 2016
> 
> @brozen or what
> 
> **lord of the brocean** @broseidon ∙ 21 Jul 2016
> 
> @brozen or what

—

 **ranster** ∙ 4d

look at these babies!!!

[image of Ransom with a baby who looks quite like him, with her big brown eyes and brown skin, while Holster kneels down to let an excitable black Labrador lick at his hands]

♥ 57 likes

> **omgcheckplease** Boys, please tell me you didn’t.
> 
> **holsom**  Relax, that’s Rans’ niece, Ngozi! We really did just borrow her.
> 
> **ranster** puppy’s ours though
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  Oh lord.
> 
> **holsom**  How do you not take a puppy home when you pass by a shelter????
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  By not going into the shelter? Did you even think about the kind of care and time it’ll need?
> 
> **ranster** she. her name is best friend sundae, BFS (biffs) for short. and yes we made a spreadsheet
> 
> **momfordsandson** can i puppysit when i get back
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  As long as you know what you’re doing, I guess. When are you coming back, Nursey?
> 
> **momfordsandson** so um i was placed in charge of booking the tickets for the surprise trip and i sort of forgot to book return tickets so i will let you know
> 
> **leftsanfransharks** puppy!!!!!!!
> 
> **jlzimmermann15**  Bittle…
> 
> **omgcheckplease**  Et tu, Jack?!!?

—

To: **Derek Malik Nurse**

When you performed for Open Mic…that wasn’t the whole poem, was it. It wasn’t finished yet, I remember now. After all that stuff happened, I forgot about it, and somehow it never occurred to me that this poem would be the one you and Lardo picked to pair with her own art. You were going to show me after the graduation ceremony, but then I was a coward and left early. I remember now. I wish I hadn’t, because I’m pretty sure Holster’s kegstand while he was still in his gown and cap was a sight to behold. They didn’t seem bitter about it when they came up to visit me, but I wish I hadn’t missed out. Especially on seeing what you and Lardo made and and meeting your moms.

Lardo took me aside after organizing a barbeque/grilling assembly line with everyone else and showed me pictures of all of it. “Thought you might want to see what those weird things I made you build are being used for,” she had said. They weren’t really that weird, do you remember? I showed you a few of the mounts and frames I had been working on. Somehow it didn’t click for me that some of those would be used to display your part of it until I saw it. You must have known, because I showed you the first three wooden plaques I had made. Those housed your first three stanzas.

All of it is stunning. Your words, Lardo’s 3D scenes/stages for each stanza… She had asked for my help with making some levers, and I see what they’re used for now. It’s a lot more interactive than I’m used to. Her interpretations of your imagery, your imagery itself… The whole thing deserves the full year it has in Samwell’s art gallery.

Lardo might know what happened between us, or at least figured out some part of it. You saw how astute she was in noticing Jack and Bitty’s relationship before the rest of us. I think it’s because she spends a lot of time observing as an artist. But I’ll let you know something I figured out about her—I think what you wrote for this helped her and Shitty get together.

I read through the last parts I hadn’t seen before, and wow. I didn’t know you were feeling any of those things, or so much of it. I know that night I said I thought you were pretending because you said so at Open Mic for everyone to hear, but I’m not that bad at poetry, and you were right. I was looking for any excuse I could because I was scared. You knew it too and you gave me the out and I took it.

Your poem ends happily, I noticed. I would have thought that it was because you finished it before everything else happened, but I don’t think the timing matches up. Does this mean what I hope it does? Is there still a chance I could explain myself, so that we could at least still be friends?

**This message failed to send. Click to send again.**

~~Maybe I should stop being a coward who cuts the internet connection before clicking send~~

—

from: **Christopher Chow** <none.puck.with.left.shark@gmail.com >  
to: **Haus Family** <inthehaus@googlegroups.com>  
date: **Sat, Jul 30, 2016, at 10:12 pm  
** subject: **flying back soon**

do you guys mind waiting a little bit when you get there?? i’m flying in a bit later at 9:22 pm, on the same day. i don’t need a ride, i just want to say hi because i missed you guys so much!! my mom was at a samwell reunion the other day and then got invited to a samwell alum’s wedding in nyc???? anyway now my family (and cait) are going to be visiting some nyc cousins before i head back to samwell. nursey, do you have any plans for getting back to samwell yet? want to head up with me and cait?

> **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 9:18 pm, Derek wrote:**
> 
> eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> sure, why not? JFK, terminal 7, on aug 5 (friday) 8:05 pm
> 
> i asked my moms and they’re fine with BFS being in the car. you just can’t bring her inside, i think? thanks so much!
> 
>           **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 7:58 PM, Justin wrote:**
> 
>          i can leave lab early. it’s a date then? haha, get it? a date
> 
>                   **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 7:55 PM, Adam wrote:**
> 
>                   If you and your moms are fine with it, I was going to bring her. If not, she’ll be fine by herself for a few hours.
> 
>                           **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 7:53 PM, Derek wrote:**
> 
>                           what about bfs?
> 
>                                     **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 7:48 PM, Adam wrote:**
> 
>                                    FB is too mainstream for a hipster like Nursey. And no, it’s definitely not a problem for me!
> 
>                                    I can get out of work a little early. Rans probably can, too. If not, he'll hop on the subway to JFK because we’d  
>                                     love to see you. Like I’d pass up saying hi to your moms. We can also help with your baggage because you’ll  
>                                     probably be all tired and jetlagged. Hockey didn’t give me these guns for nothing!
> 
>                                               **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 7:42 PM, Derek wrote:**
> 
>                                               you know fb isn’t my thing. and are you sure? will it be inconvenient for you?
> 
>                                               we could just get an uber or a taxi or something
> 
>                                                         **On Sat, Jul 30, 2016, 6:07 PM, Justin wrote:**
> 
>                                                        sorry for the late reply, sometimes i forget to check my email when it’s not my lab email.
> 
>                                                        this is why facebook is easier, hipster. do you want us to come pick you up?
> 
>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   **On Fri, Jul 29, 2016, 8:21 AM, Derek wrote:**                                                        
> 
>                                                                 hey guys i finally booked tickets!
> 
>                                                                 luckily i was able to get seats for the day my moms had originally wanted to leave.
> 
>                                                                  i’ll be arriving aug 5, around 8 pm

—

you-are-dex:

> we had just finished the last of it, ending much like we had begun: passing pucks between us while blindfolded (don’t ask), when our co-captains came out to meet us. “you made all the passes perfectly,” one co-captain said. the other co-captain couldn’t speak. he looked like he was crying, which is how he usually looks because he is a large boy with a large amount of emotion.
> 
> “that’s [so awesome]*,” i said, grinning at The Boy, the first time we actually looked at each other in the past few days. he grinned back, the tips of his ears starting to redden. we'd been a bit awkward lately; we'd kissed for a bit while waiting for our co-captains to pick us up from our last date a few days ago, but once we got back on campus, he was different. he didn't want to kiss or touch me or anything, not even when we were somewhat alone, and we'd gotten into an argument. it seemed like he was trying to convince himself that he was straight. i thought we had resolved it, albeit a bit awkwardly; i'd told him i would be patient with him but he had to also think about what about not being straight made him feel so negative about it, but even then we didn't make eye contact during the on-ice assessment.  
> 
> the four of us and our two safety inspectors walked over to the locker room, and The Boy and i started to take off our gear. our co-captains watched us for a bit while marking things on their clipboards. “you know,” our first co-captain said, “i really wish i had had this much fun working for my dibs.” our second co-captain agreed, and i laughed. “sure,” i said.
> 
> i didn’t think much of it until The Boy had finished getting changed. i’d finished earlier, so i was on my phone, looking through what i had had so far for _a matter of two_. i smiled at him, but he would not look at me. when he spoke, he didn’t seem angry, not at first. just tired.
> 
> “was that all just for dibs? you’re a good actor.”
> 
> i was so confused and did not understand, not at first. “weren’t we both doing this for dibs?”
> 
> “yeah, sure. fine.”
> 
> being an idiot, i reached out to touch him and he pushed my hand away. “show’s over! no need to pretend anymore, d.”
> 
> “where is this coming from?” i asked The Boy. “i’m not pretending anything!”
> 
> “this whole thing—what did you think this was?”
> 
> i know, i was a coward. “what did _you_ think this was?”
> 
> “this isn’t a joke, d.”
> 
> “no, you tell me. how can you think back on everything and conclude that i was pretending? you’re a coward. you never deal with new things well because you’re scared of anything new, and this was definitely new for you. that asshole definitely scared you, which was also totally new for you. not for me. what do you do with new things? you fuck them up and run away and fix up other shit to make up for it. but i care about you too much to let you fuck this up so i’ll do it for you. here’s your out.”
> 
> or something along those lines. i don’t remember much of the argument that followed because The Boy never makes things easy. what i do remember is him leaving campus unexpectedly early and missing our friends’ graduation ceremony. i texted him because we hadn’t talked to each other in at least a week or two right before he left, but then something happened to his phone so he never got it and i’ve been too much of a coward to try again. he comments on my instagram posts sometimes, but that’s it. we haven’t talked since. it’s worse than when we first met, because even during orientation we were fighting.
> 
> school starts in a few weeks and everyone is going to be so fucking disappointed (me most of all) that that hockey experiment failed

#no chill tag #The Boy #negative - #that hockey experiment #*changed because my school uses a distinctive word that means the same thing and i want to stay anonymous

—

8:13PM

 **William**  
I’m an idiot

 **Jessica  
** what else is new

 **William**  
He hasn’t replied to me because he doesn’t use Facebook! He’s too hipster for Facebook!

 **Jessica**  
LMAO  
this is amazing

 **William**  
Please don’t laugh at my misery

 **Jessica**  
no this is amazing because it means he doesn’t hate you! you still have a chance!

 **William**  
You really think so?

 **Jessica**  
this boy has been all you can talk about for practically two years and he got you gifts on all those dates and wrote that poem for you and has a fucking lobster tat. i’d say he’s been WOOING you billy

 **William**  
I can’t. It’s too late I just can’t

 **Jessica**  
William Jeffrey Poindexter, I will hop on the next plane out of here to knock some sense into you. Never mind that I already am since it's the end of our trip. You can wait until you HAVE to see him to do it if you want, but please just try. So he’s a hipster who tries too hard and doesn’t use Facebook! Just try to contact him! We have a landline, you know. Or there’s always email and actual mail and instagram if you want to get creative

 **William**  
Wait I just got an email  
I don’t know how our ex-goalie got my email…  
But I have an idea.  
Thanks Jess. Glad to see you remember capital letters and stuff sometimes

 **Jessica**  
no prob billy  
those are all social constructs anyway  
you’re picking us up from the airport right?

 **William  
** Yep! Go to sleep, Jess. You have a long flight ahead of you

—

from: **John Johnson** <amatterofredorblue@gmail.com>  
to: **William Poindexter** <dexualhealing@gmail.com>  
date: **Fri, Aug 5, 2016, at 11:11 pm  
** subject: **congrats, bro!**

haha you’ve done it bro, earlier than expected! now that you’ve decided on a clever romcom-worthy way to win back his love, i’ll be conveniently employed at whichever carrier you so choose so that i can get you a deal on your phone plan. don’t worry about it being legal or not, it’s all fiction anyway lol

johnson

—

Google ∙ **can you rename group texts with an android if everyone else has an iphone**

—

 **Thank you for your order.  
** We’ll let you know when your items are on the way.

**Items to Be Shipped**

| 

Delivers: Aug 10 by Standard Shipping  
  
---|---  
  
iPhone 6s Plus 64GB Space Gray

| 

$849.00  
  
 

—

Sun, Aug 14, 2016, 2:22PM  
**Dex** renamed the conversation **My Haus is your Haus**.

—

Mon, Aug 15, 2016, 11:26AM  
**Nursey** renamed the conversation **haus sweet haus**.

—

 **let it go, bro** @brozen ∙ 1 Feb 2017

oh yeah, yes. #AllTheBromo RT @whalechow did you ever find out what the “or what” was

**Author's Note:**

> [whispers into the void] is anyone else here into nursey having four moms
> 
> Extra notes:  
> \- stealing the silver is, of course, a Les Mis reference  
> \- can you believe Dex took that long to friend Nursey on fb???????????


End file.
